" the restaurant mentality"

Over the past 4 years I have studied communication/ pr and relationship managing and marketing, prior to my studies and throughout the duration of the course I have also been a part-time waitress in a number of restaurants. I believe that my experience and knowledge in the field of relationship management and the very nature of communications has given me the power to add the sort of value to a customers experience which allows me actually build relationships with them based on the simple understanding of knowing what their specific needs are; and how to exceed their expectations and in return receive a bigger percentage of tips/ and or money(my end objective)

What I covered in detail over the past year is the vital role which emotional intelligence and relationship management plays in managing not any organisation, but specifically one in the service industry.

That what is even more than important than having waiters who know what they doing, is having managers who understand the very nature of the relationships which they have with their staff,their suppliers as well as with their customers and the way in which those relationships directly affect their organisational success and ultimately their profitability and survival over time.

the reason why I have mentioned all these things, is because recently i was fired from a part-time waitress job for not saying good bye to my customers who had already paid the bill and told that i didn't have the kind of restaurant mentality to work there.

the situation:
i had just started working at the fat cactus in gardens. i had trained for two shifts for which i wasn't paid. throughout my training i was not required to job shadow any one specific fellow staff member, but i was told to follow their newest waitress around as she was a friend of Mine. the training which i received during the shift which she didn't work with me consisted of me asking questions and standing around "looking busy" which included doing virtually all the prep work for the shift while the other waiters sat around eating their staff meals and joking with each other.

on my second training shift i wiped all the table and bar surfaces in the restaurant, i also changed ll the ashtrays outside for tables which belonged to the day staff. in addition to that i polished all the cutlery which was available to polish at the time, made the little burger flags with another waiter. wiped the windows and set out the candles and lamps for the night shift. besides one other waiter who was basically just telling me what to do I did all the prep for that shift by myself. i cleaned tables, changed ashtrays, took peoples orders and learned the menu without any instruction to do so.i greeted guests and sat them down. I also asked the kitchen staff many questions about where everything goes in the kitchen to prepare myself for my first shift.

on my second official shift i was the first waiter there. i seated two tables who then ordered from me. as none of the other evening staff seemed to care about serving them or pay them any attention i took their orders. with their orders in my head i went to the computer to ring them up only to discover that one owner in particular had not programmed my card yet so i had no access to the computer. after asking various staff members what i should do, because these people had already placed their order and were waiting for drinks it took about ten minutes for a manager to eventually tell me to run to Woolworth's and get a card. nobody seemed to worry about the two tables which were waiting for service until i mentioned it repeatedly and another waiter was instructed to take them their drinks so long and attend to them.

Throughout the night i exceeded all my customers expectations, i know this because of the verbal feedback, thank-yous and tips i received ( not because i sucked up to them, but because I had build relationships with them based on the simple communication which took place between us throughout their experience.)

when the clock struck 10 o clock, nobody wanted to serve tables anymore. as the tables came in I noticed that the old waiters paid less and less attention to them and were willing to give their tables away to myself and the other waitress who had worked a double that day. we were all tired and wanted to go home but we dealt with it differently.

when the last table walked in just after the kitchen had packed up, i was the only person left who actually wanted to serve them. I then told them that I would check with the owner on duty that night to see whether the kitchen was still open. he told me yes, so i served them with the same level of service i had given the rest of my tables. they were happy, and gave a big tip because they could see that I was the only person in the restaurant who wasn't rushing them.

throughout the duration of their eating experience that night:
- nobody wanted to serve them even though the kitchen was still open so technically so was the restaurant
- they were told to order their food immediately
-they were basically pushed out of the restaurant as people started packing up the entire restaurant including carrying all the outside tables inside and closing the doors.
-they were faced with miserable tired waiters who just wanted to go home and made it very clear to them that they were the reason they couldn't.

- then they got me as their waitress.
they were happy and content and paid their bill with a smile despite my apologies about the goings on around them. i did my cash up and left to go home as did all the others. the manager and owner as well as two of the waiters were there to close up at the time. with it being my second shift, and little to no training I made the mistake of assuming that the manager and other waiters would say good bye to my table and see them out ( i had also been busy cashing up and failed to notice that the table was still sitting in a hidden corner on the other side of the restaurant) i had completely forgotten that they were still there.

10 minutes later i received a missed call on my cell from the restaurant, i had no airtime at the time to call them back, so i drove back to the restaurant to see what the problem was thinking that perhaps i had made a mistake with my cash up.

upon my arrival the owner asked me why i had just left with my table still sitting there, i told him that i was sorry but i was new and had not been informed of the procedure to follow in that situation. i apologised politely and mentioned that i had forgotten they were even still there because i couldn't see their table on my way out. the table was still seated, completely unaware of what had been going on. i told him that i would stay until they left to say good bye to them.

he responded by saying that that wont be necessary as i don't have the kind of restaurant mentality that he wants in his staff and that i no longer had a job there. i got a fright, thanked him for the opportunity and apologised again before i left.

Upon my return home i thought about what had happened and I became angry not because I unfairly lost my job without any warnings or proper training but because I was told that after everything I did since working there that I never had the "right restaurant mentality" to work there.

I can admit that I made a mistake, but i cannot agree with the way in which in was dealt with.

that after a few drinks ( throughout the day !) and little or no attention to my work performance throughout the night and respect or appreciation for what those customers and many others would experienced about his restaurant that night because of the direct face to face communication which took place between myself and them throughout their experience.

I received an average of 15 % of tips based on my turn over at the end of the night. he received the profit on that turnover and positive feedback and word of mouth about the service experienced by each table I served.

the facts and figures speak for themselves and there is no doubt in my mind that I would have been a real asset to his organisation over time, had he possessed the emotional intelligence required to build effective relationships with his staff and his customers perhaps he would have realised that it was my own skills, knowledge and experience combined with the emotional intelligence of realising exactly what would please that table that night which exceeded their expectations which earned the big tip i got.

that they had not even noticed i had left, that perhaps what was more important to them that being greeted upon leaving, was being served with a smile by someone who appreciated their business (me) despite also wanting to go home. that perhaps it wasn't pleasant for them to be rushed out and have the entire restaurant packed up around them, with waiters making comments out loud about wanting them to leave. that perhaps my apologies and friendly interaction were the only thing that they were satisfied with that night. that perhaps after they had payed their bill they just wanted to be left alone to finish off their time together.

I don't want my job back, or even an apology but the purpose of me writing about this is to say exactly how I feel about it. i think it was unfair, uncalled for and irrational. I think it was disgusting that he could address me after a few drinks and just fire me for something so small with no warning.
i am shocked at his poor level of control over his emotions, his blind sightedness of his actions and the absolute lack of respect for me as a person and more importantly as a staff member.

since this hapend last week, i had a birthday party. all 25 guests there heard the story, every time they hear or see fat cactus they will remember the story and tell their friends. they will also tell future potential employees. besides my guests, i have told my peers at college, 2 lecturers, my parents, and anybody else who asked me why i was fired including customers who i served in my short time there.

so i don't need an apology or my job back. what id like however is to highlight the negative word of mouth which has been generated about the restaurant because of what happened and the negative implications of that. the rest of my story tells itself but what i learned from the experienced is absolutely process. i hope that he will learn from it too...

SIGNPOSTS AND SANDWICHES........ Comments about the CPUT strikes

On the news recently there was coverage of the University of Witswatersrand, where the students were protesting against the annual fee increase. The recording was of the students, sitting around on the steps eating their lunch. Some had protest boards, while others spoke calmly to the reporters. It resembled a university picnic, in contrast to the recent CPUT strikes and I just had to smile to myself. Not because I thought it was funny, but because I thought to myself “signposts and sandwiches? Try petrol bombs and riot police!”

I have been at CPUT for almost four years now, and every year there are riots when the fee’s go up, however this year’s riots reached new heights of violence and damage to the property. Lectures were cancelled for a week and there was no access to library or internet facilities which are most of the student’s main source of research and computers which was necessary to complete their assignments. For B-Tech and Master’s students, those days off were not a worry free holiday as it might have been for other students who took the week off. For students applying for jobs and going for interviews, it was embarrassing to say the least.

I suppose the frustration I felt, was similar to that felt by the students who were rioting. Over the years, I have experienced many situations which have the frustrated me to the point where I could just scream. Situations which just do not happen at other tertiary institutions, which shouldn’t be allowed to happen but they do.

The deterioration of tertiary facilities and level of education available to the students of CPUT over the past 4 years has been vast and very noticeable. Simple toilet paper and soap not being available to use for periods extending up to a month is just one example. But the fact that there were no consequences for the students that took part in the strike: that has been the saddest part for me. By letting the perpetrators off with no punishment or suspension, the management of CPUT has condoned their actions.

When I heard this, and other facts about the strike like a memorandum being issued to the chancellor about the concerns regarding the increase in registration fee’s which was completely ignored because she claimed she forgot to read it, I began to realize that students are not to blame for their frustrations. When I look back at the causes of each frustration which I have felt over the years, they all lead back to management and communication.

Somewhere along the line, there has been a major breakdown and both the management and communication systems within CPUT. It is failing the students, and many feel that their money is being misused. Because they cannot see any improvements, but only deterioration, it is obvious that a price increase would anger them. Not communicating with them about their frustrations is what fueled the fire. This I can also understand.

What I cannot however comprehend is how there were no consequences for their actions of the students participating in the riots. This is just wrong on so many levels, it has been the breaking point for me, the cherry on top of a cake which is not rising, if the batter contains no eggs or baking powder then how can it rise?

third world

The very thing that makes us South-Africans or African is where we came from and what we are a part of. I always wonder what some South Africans consider to be living in the third world, on top of living in Africa.

Perhaps it is because many have traveled, and expect a similar sort of structure, many think we deserve to live like Australians, or somewhere else in the world “where shit just works” and health care is for free. Wouldn’t it be nice: people think to themselves, to not have to struggle just to live and more importantly not have to see that struggle everyday at robots? Wouldn’t it be nice if there was no crime?

Well it is nice, for a lot of South Africans who are rich. They have the money to build big walls around their houses and have holiday houses in still bay where is no crime because I quote “the closest informal settlement is some ridiculous amount of miles away” it was nice for those really wealthy inhabitants of Hout bay and Melkbos and even Camps Bay- until the reality of those who have nothing began to creep into their paradise worlds and squatter camps began to pop up and grow rapidly causing an increase in crime.

I wonder if those people ever stop and ask themselves what causes crime and come to the conclusion that it was indeed poverty. I hope that if they do they think about how much money they have, and how many people in our country have nothing. I hope that they think about how they got that rich \ and if it contributed in any way to helping society develop in any way. Many people have this idea that they deserve to have whatever their money can buy them. That spending ridiculous amounts of money something is justified because it can be afforded. I wonder if those people can even remember what their needs were, and how many people do not even have the basic needs of running water and bread.

When did knowledge and learning become less important highly powered jobs? Is it not the very pillars which hold up such positions and allow them to do their jobs to the best of their ability and ultimately benefit society at large.

If the judiciary and the government do not practice what they preach, and Judge Hlophe remains in the system, the very ideals and values of the organizations involved are going to be severely compromised and lose the trust of the people altogether, which will severely affect the development of South Africa and the lives of its people in time to come.
It would indeed be nice not have to worry about the skills shortages and BBE, the current downfall of the justice system, which is fundamental in dealing with crime and corruption, the political tensions and what they could very possibly be leading too without anybody really noticing or being able to do anything.

BBE is causing skilled people to leave to leave the country. It is affecting the very systems which are fundamental to our development as a nation and it is causing so much bitterness amongst those who want to be here and contribute to innovative development. The frustrations experienced by white males who are starting their careers out in South Africa has lead to a rapid increase in suicide since BBE policies were incorporated.

Recently I heard a story a about a BEE employment in a large corporation which made me think that perhaps the thing more tragic is the humiliation which such appointments cause.
The story was about the employment of a highly empowered women in management who was given a company car, credit card, laptop, the works. But had very little knowledge of what she was suppose to be doing to earn all of this. One day she met with the CEO and told him that she had contacted her old boss, from when she was a domestic worker and asked for her old job back. That she didn’t felt like she didn’t fit in the world she was working in.
I suddenly imagined for the first time the embarrassment which she must have felt in that position. People deserve the right to have the knowledge and skills to perform their jobs, it is a part of the very core of who they are. There is no working your way down you are almost deprived of the information necessary to empower you as a person.

This is just one women who represents so many appointments in public service which is serving to be a much larger disservice to people. I have tried to discuss two sides of an a thousand side argument to try and justify something to myself but im not quite sure what it is anymore.
Went on a bit of a rant about BEE, please don’t get me wrong I strongly support the ideals behind the constitution and the idea there-of but the implementation is *%^$$$&&ing up all the systems necessary to our development as a democratic nation. The politics and corruption is taking over all other legs which our country needs to stand on. Power is becoming conceited and being used for the wrong reasons and people need to start becoming aware of why these things are happening, and what they mean.

We are what we do

“We are what we do”, is something that has been drilled into me for as long as I can remember. What kind of person I should be, together with actions and re-actions which could make or break the person I become.

As child I was often conflicted as a result, haunted by my mistakes. As though bad choices had some sort of permanence in life that I could never get rid of. That I would be remembered by the things I did wrong, rather than the things I did right.

As I grew older and my experience and knowledge of the world grew, I grew with it. As my opinions changed, I change with them. As people came in and out of my life I learned from them.

I realized that what we do in life is easily defined by what we want to achieve, but who we are is defined by how we achieve it.

Titles such as Doctor and Teacher are defined by our qualification and education, by what we practice and by what we want to achieve, however our relationships with the people we encounter along the journey ultimately define who we are in the eyes of others.

Self made millionaires can justify excessive spending when there is poverty surrounding them, they can use money to secure themselves in a comfort zone which simply blocks out parts of the world which they don’t like. Their money can protect them from crime, and their ignorance can guard them from having any compassion and understanding for what causes crime, or how all their money could be part of a solution.

Millionaires are millionaires because they worked hard to get where they are, their money defines them and who they are. However the average Joe on the street that has just enough money to fulfill their needs and not a cent more to give is the one with compassion for the poor state of the country. He is the one faced with the sadness and pain of those who have nothing. He is defined by his compassion rather his money. His tears are worth more to mankind than the all millionaire’s money.

How do you step from the top of a 100 foot pole?

In my head there are all these questions which are moving around like a screen saver in bright colors on a black background

How did I get here, Why am I here, who is here with me, When did this happen, where are my clothes? ….

Suddenly I am struck by fear, almost paralyzed. The feeling is one I have had before. The feeling you get when you arrive at school and your wearing no clothes, or the feeling you get when you can see somebody is in your dark room staring at you but you cant move or make a sound, the feeling you get when you are falling off a cliff and cant seem to stop yourself….a feeling so familiar and so real of which I have no control.

As I try taking control of my mind, I lurk there; pondering what on earth my mind is trying to tell me this time. “What is going on?” I say out loud.

“You’re stuck here” I hear, but who is speaking? “It’s the pole”

Me: “how do I get down” I reply ´

The poll:”well how did you get here?”

Me: I don’t know could you help me.

The poll:” I can only help you to help yourself”

Me: “Well that’s not much help otherwise I wouldn’t be here”

The poll: “You are here because you chose to be here”

Me: “That’s ridiculous; I would never choose to be in a situation that I couldn’t get out of.”

The pole: “Well, funny enough you did… there were 3 ways you could go and you chose to climb over the pole rather than go around it.”

Me: “Why would I do that?”

The poll: “Perhaps you never noticed what you were doing until you realized you were stuck…many obstacles in life seem invisible until we stuck so deep in the mud we can’t get out by ourselves.”

Me: “I think I would have noticed if I was climbing up a 100 foot pole!”

The poll: “You think you would have noticed when you were half way into the mistakes u make in your life, but you only seem to notice when you’re stuck.”

Me: “ok, I get what you’re saying but it’s not helping me get down”

The poll: “the only way to get down is to realize how you climbed up”

The thing about being stuck on top of a 100 foot pole and not knowing how to step down, is to understand what the pole represents. Knowing why we are in certain situations doesn’t always help us get out of them but knowing how we got there helps us to be aware of certain obstacles next time we are stuck at cross roads.

We are afraid of the wrong things

Fear is a word often used by philosophers. They refer to fear as an oppressor, something which holds us back from achieving excellence in many area’s of our lives.

We all have things which we know we are afraid of and can jot them down on a list, my list would probably have things like failure, rejection and inferiority on it as well as crime, rape, death of loved ones, HIV aids, etc.

The thing about fear is that it is unique to each and every person and functions differently within us. Recognizing this is essential to us, but in doing so where should we look, the past, the present or perhaps the future?

At which point in our lives did we become afraid of certain things, to the point where they hold us back?

Our experiences make us who we are yet we fear things which we have not yet experienced. Fear like everything else has a purpose, without it we would not be human however the tricky part comes in when we try and define the lengths to which it dictates our actions and thoughts. It may be negative when it manifests itself in ways which prohibit us from achieving certain things, but positive in ways which it protects us from harm.

We are bound by society, money and the rational behavior; I believe these things make us afraid to be different, to think irrationally, and to dream big. The norm makes us afraid to be abnormal. The media makes it hard to look and dress differently, our parents make it hard for us to find ourselves, and money makes it hard for us to do what we love. All these things stir up fears of rejection, failure and disappointment.

We are afraid of the wrong things, is the topic of this piece. I find it hard to draw any conclusion on this as I am not quiet convinced there is truth in the statement. We need to be aware of what our fears are and the extent to which they control our actions, we need to try and understand why and how they do this.

Whether our fears can be justified as right or wrong I don’t know. I guess it depends on the measure of choice (both conscious and subconscious) which controls the things which we are afraid of, and the way we choose to live our lives.

What is the color of the wind?

The wind is the messenger of the earth. When it blows it becomes the voice of the universe, the sky the earth and the ocean. It does not have a color, but its purpose has great meaning.

Far more fluorescent than the brightest colors with which we are familiar, they are tailored to each and every one of our individual destinies and travel to each corner of the earth spreading the very essence of life.

The colors of the wind are ever changing, like its direction. It is unpredictable and insignificant to many of us; but to others it is vital. They are constructed in the very core of the earth and rise up to very highest highs reflecting all the colors known and unknown to us off the ocean, the sky and the sun.

Next time you listen carefully into a shell from the ocean, hear the reflection of the wind and call its color ocean blue. Next time you don’t put on sunscreen on an overcast day, feel the reflection of the wind from the sun and call its color red.

Next time the wind is blowing so hectically that the vehicle you are in feels like it has actually lifted off the road, see the reflection of the wind and call it grey. Next time the wind blows off the branches of a tree, see this and call its color green. Or next time the wind blows off your favorite hat on a day which you are experiencing great sadness, name the color of the wind navy blue.

You see, the wind has not been assigned a color like the sky or the ocean or even the earth. We can name its direction, its intensity and its pressure but realizing the purpose of each of these things is defining something greater than the colors it reflects when it blows. It is impossible for us to give our emotions colors, to give our purpose a color, or even to color in a picture of our souls.

These things exist within us just as the wind exists and moves within our universe. Each time the wind blows its color is reflected differently on us, there is a change that takes place within us. Perhaps the very realization of such change is far more important than the colors we see in it’s the reflection of the sun, the sky, the ocean and the earth.